So then...

About Me

Welcome to my blog. My pen name is Eva James. I'm an aspiring writer paying the bills working as a legal secretary. Relentlessly bullied by my former boss, I looked for another job but the recession hit. Feeling trapped, I recorded everything in this blog, which serves as a revealing insight into workplace bullying. WEEK 1 starts the story and, as the weeks progress, you'll note what starts as banter soon spirals out of control. Sadly, it's all true. Whilst along the way I've found alternative employment, my passion for blogging about workplace bullying remains. Trevor Griffiths, legendary theatre, TV and film writer said at the outset, "I like the writing a lot: smart, cool, placed. If you were prepared/able to take your prick of a boss on, you'd marmelise him."

Saturday, 3 July 2010

WEEK 79 Anger Management

Last week was a good week. I finally got to a place where I could put HOWARD and his pals behind me.

As the immediate euphoria waned, I realised I was getting tetchy. I’m still unusually out of sorts. Something’s really bothering me. I couldn’t put my finger on it at first. I’ve landed on my feet in my new job. My employers are kind and friendly. I’ve got the settlement money on the way. What’s to complain about, right?

Yet I could yell my head off in frustration.

My workplace bullying book is going very well. The ideas are tumbling onto the page. And there lies the problem. It’s the only time I feel good and I can’t get enough time with it. I’m resentful of having to go to work, do the shopping and see my friends. All I want is to be left alone to write my book. I’m annoyed at having to grab an hour here or 20 minutes there. I just want to get it written.

It goes without saying - creativity shouldn’t, ordinarily, make you antsy.

The underlying problem is I can’t forget the lies HOWARD and four Senior Management staff wrote about me in their submissions to the Court; allegations so disgusting I couldn’t even record them fully in my blog.

Those members of staff knew what they were doing. They know me as a person. They know the truth. I don’t know how they can face themselves in the mirror, trying and failing, as they did, to mislead a Tribunal with horrendous lies. Talk about kicking someone when they’re down.

I’m so angry, so betrayed. If I don’t do something constructive with it, it’s the kind of anger that destroys a person from the inside. I need to keep busy. I need to focus my energy and manage my emotions.

It’s essential to my health now. I’ve got a book to write.

Lots of love,

Eva x

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