So then...

About Me

Welcome to my blog. My pen name is Eva James. I'm an aspiring writer paying the bills working as a legal secretary. Relentlessly bullied by my former boss, I looked for another job but the recession hit. Feeling trapped, I recorded everything in this blog, which serves as a revealing insight into workplace bullying. WEEK 1 starts the story and, as the weeks progress, you'll note what starts as banter soon spirals out of control. Sadly, it's all true. Whilst along the way I've found alternative employment, my passion for blogging about workplace bullying remains. Trevor Griffiths, legendary theatre, TV and film writer said at the outset, "I like the writing a lot: smart, cool, placed. If you were prepared/able to take your prick of a boss on, you'd marmelise him."

Wednesday, 21 July 2010

WEEK 84 Circle of Life

I’m not one for dwelling on traumatic events. I’m off, sprinting away from it. I’m fine if I don’t look back.

I mean, distance is good. The more distance I get from HOWARD and his pals, the better I feel. And here we are, July is almost over and that means we’ll be putting up decorations before we know it. I’m doing well, I think. And that’s what I was mulling over in work as the e-mail arrived from personnel. I was typing away, thinking about how things are getting better and better.

I should know by now that that is precisely when a person gets hit out of left field by the past or, to be exact, the ghost of Christmas past.

The e-mail wanted to know who could and could not make it to the works Christmas party at the beginning of December. The venue just happened to be the very same venue my old firm had booked two years in a row.

I went straight into panic mode. I couldn’t breathe. There was no way I could go. Not only had HOWARD made me feel like the most hideous person there twice but in the ET3 my firm had lied and said I pestered him for attention all night when I was the first to leave! The very idea that I would, for the third year running have to sit in the same room, only with a different bunch of solicitors was too much. It was unthinkable. It was absolutely unbearable.

I sent an immediate e-mail saying I couldn’t go.

Questions will be asked. It’s obvious I’ve got nothing booked for that particular afternoon and evening in December. I’ve only recently passed probation and now I’m refusing to go to the social event of the year. They’re already working on themes. It’s Hollywood glamour v ball gowns. I’m hiding welling tears under a heavy fringe hoping nobody brings me into the conversation.

The further the distance from my old firm, the closer the need for distance with my new one.

I’m calming down now, of course. I’ve told them I’m not going and that’s that. Enough of these circles already.

I’ve drawn the line.

See you soon

Eva x

1 comment:

bigpip said...

I think you should go. You'll have different people in the venue and it may help to lay the ghosts to rest because you'll show to yourself that you're not afraid of HOWARD and his pals.

Your new employers are clearly a very different bunch of people and surely there are people there that you're getting on well with.

If they're going then you go because these are friends in a new part of your life and nothing to do with what happened in the past.

I can well understand that it's the last place you want to go but to move on, you can't remain to be intimidated by what are just memories.

Good luck and I hope you change your mind.

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