The only thing that still bothers me, psychologically speaking, is that HOWARD’S left me with rock bottom self esteem concerning my appearance.
I’m not very good at analysing what’s in the mirror. It’s like it’s been airbrushed by HOWARD. A-symmetry is accentuated. I now have a borderline phobia about how I may or may not resemble a Springer Spaniel.
This may sound weird, but when I’m in those moments when I’m really paranoid about how I look – I’ll take a couple of pictures on my digital camera to see my real image. It’s not as crazy as it sounds. The camera shows me someone pretty normal. Not conventionally attractive granted – but I’ll happily take normal over HOWARD’S awful exaggerating.
I trust the camera.
Then my IT friend, who helps me with website or blog restructuring, popped in last week. He’s a good guy, you know, the kind of person who’d put themselves out for anyone. With me, he’s always concerned about my lack of confidence and he hit on a bright idea to give me a boost.
“You should try working as a TV and film extra!” he said.
He was certain it would bring me out of my shell and be tons of fun. So yesterday I signed up for two casting agents to work as a film and TV extra. It’s a brilliant idea. Even if I get the very occasional bit of work – it’ll be worth it for my confidence.
It takes a bit of work to bounce back from workplace bullying, but who’s to say that work can’t be hanging around on a film/TV set, bringing in a bit of money and giving you a self esteem boost at the same time.
And the best thing is - they say the camera never lies. Now that’s refreshing.
I’ll keep you updated.
- Bullied By The Boss
- Welcome to my blog. My pen name is Eva James. I'm an aspiring writer paying the bills working as a legal secretary. Relentlessly bullied by my former boss, I looked for another job but the recession hit. Feeling trapped, I recorded everything in this blog, which serves as a revealing insight into workplace bullying. WEEK 1 starts the story and, as the weeks progress, you'll note what starts as banter soon spirals out of control. Sadly, it's all true. Whilst along the way I've found alternative employment, my passion for blogging about workplace bullying remains. Trevor Griffiths, legendary theatre, TV and film writer said at the outset, "I like the writing a lot: smart, cool, placed. If you were prepared/able to take your prick of a boss on, you'd marmelise him."