So then...

About Me

Welcome to my blog. My pen name is Eva James. I'm an aspiring writer paying the bills working as a legal secretary. Relentlessly bullied by my former boss, I looked for another job but the recession hit. Feeling trapped, I recorded everything in this blog, which serves as a revealing insight into workplace bullying. WEEK 1 starts the story and, as the weeks progress, you'll note what starts as banter soon spirals out of control. Sadly, it's all true. Whilst along the way I've found alternative employment, my passion for blogging about workplace bullying remains. Trevor Griffiths, legendary theatre, TV and film writer said at the outset, "I like the writing a lot: smart, cool, placed. If you were prepared/able to take your prick of a boss on, you'd marmelise him."

Thursday, 10 February 2011

WEEK 135 Fight or Flight

Sat opposite OLLIE’S ex-secretary, I’m struck how little she remembers about the way I was treated at our old firm. She had her own problems with PHILIP I suppose, and she bolted long before I did. It’s not just that though. She thinks I took the whole thing in my stride; water off a duck’s back.

I can’t help feeling a little disappointed.

At one point, I was so scared of HOWARD’S behaviour I wrote to a specialist on dehumanisation and bullying in America, telling them I didn’t know where it was going to end. A couple of times, I called the Samaritans.

After I left my old firm, they accused me of not having looked like somebody suffering from workplace bullying (despite suffering from hives, depression and having handed in my notice every few months).

But fear affects people in different ways.

Most people assume that if you were really that scared and intimidated – you’d run, like OLLIE’S ex-secretary and the numerous secretaries that walked out before her. Running away is a standard response, but there’s a second reaction to fear. The adrenaline that results from workplace bullying, like all adrenaline, produces a fight or flight chemical reaction. That’s what Bullied by the Boss was back then – creative fight.

It doesn’t mean for a moment I wasn’t scared. I was more scared of HOWARD, at times, than I’ve been of anyone else in my life.

I didn’t start writing my blog because I was immune to what was happening. Quite the opposite - I did it because I was being so badly affected.

Best wishes

BBTB x

3 comments:

Mr Fan said...

"workplace bullying adrenaline" its a terriable way to get an adrenaline rush but I know it happens as I get every single day with out fail. I saw on a blog that 1 in every 2 American kids get bullied so I suppose most of us experiance it as the norm.

What enchances adrenaline is when the boss uses & abuses you as a puppet & gets all the credit for all of the unpaid hard work that was done.

Bullied By The Boss said...

Yes, it's hard for people to understand when they haven't experienced it themselves.

It's how I ended up with hives - it was the prolonged anxiety. My nerves were jangling. That fear - that anything you do or say or even wear to work will be used to humiliate you - creates chemical imbalances which wreck your health.

That's the danger of being exposed to it for too long. There's not enough research on the physical and mental effects of workplace bullying. x

Bear Wife said...

I perfectly identify with what you are going through. Those who have not been picked on before have no idea what it's like to go through the torture and hell....

The worst thing is that there are very limited things we can do about it other than to tolerate.

Personally I feel that bullying has more traumatic effects mentally as opposed to physically.
In the long run it's the spirit that gets broken...

Keep fighting. Look for a new job
At least in your new place there is
one less familiar bully to deal with...

Bottom Swirl