It’s all about your emotions. You’re feeling terribly hurt, crushed and devastated. You’re furious in a way you’ve never known before. You feel true hatred for the first time ever. You’re terrified, scared and distracted. You don’t know what’s coming next.
In a
word, you’re emotionally overwhelmed.
But before a mobbing target can effectively respond to the shunning and
onslaught of personal and professional attacks, he or she must control the
emotional flooding that mobbing produces.
There are four reasons why it is imperative that to do so.
First,
emotional flooding can be deadly. Anytime we
are emotionally overwhelmed, we are prone to stress-related illnesses. It is not unusual for mobbing targets to
suffer heart attacks or strokes or develop cancer shortly after being
mobbed. Many are made to feel so
worthless and unwanted that they commit suicide. Others, such as former LAPD officer
Christopher Dorner who went on a murderous rampage in the wake of his
termination from the police force, have been known to kill their coworkers,
managers and others in a desperate effort to gain power over a situation which
has left them feeling utterly powerless.
The documentary, Murder by Proxy (available
on Netflix at the time of this writing), is an excellent exploration of the
role mobbing plays in many workplace shootings, and how some may have been
avoidable had the targets been treated more humanely.
Second,
emotional flooding confuses us, making it difficult to concentrate and get our
work done. When our coworkers and managers are out to
get us, becoming an unproductive worker is hardly in our best interests. A mobbing target must work extra hard to
avoid any perception they cannot do their job, and do it well.
Third, it
is impossible to effectively respond to aggressive attacks and escape the mob
(by getting a new job, for example), if you do not have control of your
emotions. At the very time you have been made to feel
completely worthless and loathed and utterly crazy, you must muster the poise,
confidence, and control to respond to repeated accusations of misconduct, find
a new job, and perhaps even pursue a lawsuit.
It requires the strength and emotional control of a Navy SEAL to respond
to mobbing, so there’s no more critical time to gain control of your emotions
than when they are understandably exploding inside of you.
And finally,
anyone who is emotionally overwhelmed is a drag to be around—the mobbing
target almost always finds themselves alienating their support system at the
time they need it most because they are constantly babbling about how awful
their situation is and how furious and depressed they are. No one can withstand hearing that for very
long before they’re ready to run for their lives from the pitiful friend they
wish that they could help but would rather just escape. If you’re being mobbed, chances are your
friends and family are feeling overwhelmed themselves; give them a break from
your emotions by gaining control of them.
To
control your emotional flooding, understand that there are three primary
emotions that mobbing provokes: anger, fear and sadness. Each of these emotions is experienced as a
range of feelings. Unchecked anger turns
to fury and rage; unchecked fear turns to paranoia; and untreated sadness turns
to anguish and serious depression. All
of these emotions are normal and natural responses to threats to our survival,
but they become maladaptive when they are not controlled. To control the painful feelings associated
with mobbing, here are a few steps you can take to gain greater control of your
emotions when you are under group attack.