I often warn of the
dangers of sympathising with stressed colleagues, but there can’t be a greater
example of this than the New York employment claim which hit the headlines this
week.
In late 2010, Deborah Stevens
volunteered one of her kidneys to her boss desperate for a kidney transplant. Whilst
it’s an extraordinarily generous act, you can imagine how it came about. Watching
her boss grow weaker, Stevens convinced herself it was the right thing to do.
Stevens could potentially save a life. She’d be lauded by her firm. Deborah
Stevens would be the self-sacrificing Atlantic Automotive Group heroine.
A complication arose; the
first of many. Stevens’ kidney wasn’t a good match for her boss. Nevertheless, presumably
having grown accustomed the idea and having had the battery of medical tests, she
proceeded to donate her kidney to someone else on the waiting list.
Unfortunately, the major
surgery left Stevens with nerve damage, digestive problems and depression.
On returning to work, Stevens
expected her generous gesture to carry some weight; that her firm would be
patient with her delayed recovery. She found the opposite. Her boss afforded
her little empathy, complained about her sickness record and promptly moved her
to another office. Then HR fired her.
Her union rep explained to
the press: ‘Instead of being sympathetic, they were very hostile to her’.
Atlantic Automotive
returned with the statement: ‘It is unfortunate that one employee has used her
own generous act to make a groundless claim’. In one sentence, they reveal the
truth of why this awful series of events occurred in the first place. Her firm
accept the generosity of the act, but believe they owe her nothing.
The bottom line is that we
spend a great deal of time with our colleagues, often seeing them as an
extended family. Obviously, this is encouraged by firms. It’s nice for the
employees and the company benefits in the long run.
But, as victims of bullying
often find out, the big difference is that within your corporate ‘family’ there
might be many people behind the scenes you don’t know so well. There might be
many people involved in decision making who don’t have an ounce of support for
you – whatever you’ve done for the company or whatever trouble you’re in.
And the more you buy into
a ‘home from home’ or ‘second family’ employment dynamic, the more at risk you
are of giving far more than you’ll ever receive.
They're always colleagues, not cousins!
Very best
BBTB
