Rope-a-Dope

Controversial I know, but since my teenage days, when I came across a tape of Mohammed Ali’s Rumble in the Jungle fight against George Foreman, I’ve been inspired by Ali’s legendary rope-a-dope and boxing in general.

The rope-a-dope technique is where a boxer covers up, lying with his back to the ropes, allowing his opponent to take pot-shots at his defences. After a number of rounds, the opponent assumes the guy on the ropes has no fight in him. Maybe he wonders if the guy is ill. He unloads his punches. He goes to town on the weaker athlete. Pretty soon, the busy boxer wears himself out. It’s a tiring business punching away at something round after round. And it gets boring. It’s at this point that the guy on the ropes jumps out from his defensive guard and fights back with everything he’s got. Surprise!

Ali’s rope-a-dope is a now an accepted strategic move in any competitive situation outside sport. One party deliberately appears to put themselves in what looks like a losing position, but only does so with a view to winning in the end.

I’m only talking about this because the non-pugilist rope-a-dope is what I’d recommend anyone do when they’re targets of workplace bullying.

A friend of mine recently asked what I thought about them trying to expose their bully to the press or TV. They wanted revenge or justice. It’s understandable, but not advisable. It’s not our job to punish our colleagues for their antisocial behaviour, however appealing the idea might be.

We need to find a solution, whilst not showing any fight or aggression. Patience is the name of the game. Bide your time observing. Think about what you can do to get yourself out of the unpleasant situation. In the meantime, when they make a mistake, which they inevitably will, you can tell it like it is and people will pat you on the back.

Simply give them enough rope-a-dope to hang themselves, and you may find they do it all for you.

Best wishes,

BBTB x

Crepe Crusader 2011

I can hardly let Pancake Day slide without reference to this time last year when, suffering from anxiety and depression, Betty Crocker pancakes were my dietary staple, seconded only by Greens pancakes (the only difference is you have to add your own egg).

What I don’t know about pancake mixes or workplace bullying isn’t worth knowing.

I was tickled yesterday every time some asked “Will you have pancakes tonight, Eva?” as my new colleagues discussed crepe fillings. I did have pancakes yesterday evening. I’m not going to buck tradition - but that’s my lot for this year.

There’s a saying about those who want to change the situation they’re in. They’re said to be trying to “flip the script”. A year on, I feel I’ve done just that. And I’ve also flipped the pancake on comfort eating.

Best wishes

BBTB x

Forgive and Forget?

Do you like reading tweeted literary quotes? I do. My current inspirational favourite is:-

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much”

Not only is he right, Oscar Wilde would have adored Twitter!

Ordinarily, forgiveness is a controversial subject when it comes to workplace bullying. Emotions run high. It’s very easy to confuse sympathy and forgiveness. Sympathy allows the anti-social behaviour to repeat. Forgiveness is a cut-off boundary that our abuser has no control of. It’s easier to do once we’re out of the bullying situation as it’s an act of letting go, releasing and moving on. It’s an inner mission statement – “You have no power over me. Your place is in the past – and I’m forgetting you.”

I’m not saying that forgiving someone is plain sailing. It takes work. I can go for months thinking I’ve forgiven HOWARD and my old firm, and then have a weekend where I’m so angry at them, I don’t know what to do with myself.

But if you’ve suffered from workplace bullying, then do make every effort to forgive the person/s who did it. Not for their sake (as Oscar Wilde points out - they’d hate you for it anyway), but for yours.

You deserve it.

Best wishes

BBTB x