So then...

About Me

Welcome to my blog. My pen name is Eva James. I'm an aspiring writer paying the bills working as a legal secretary. Relentlessly bullied by my former boss, I looked for another job but the recession hit. Feeling trapped, I recorded everything in this blog, which serves as a revealing insight into workplace bullying. WEEK 1 starts the story and, as the weeks progress, you'll note what starts as banter soon spirals out of control. Sadly, it's all true. Whilst along the way I've found alternative employment, my passion for blogging about workplace bullying remains. Trevor Griffiths, legendary theatre, TV and film writer said at the outset, "I like the writing a lot: smart, cool, placed. If you were prepared/able to take your prick of a boss on, you'd marmelise him."

Wednesday, 3 February 2010

WEEK 35 Man in the Mirror

HOWARD and I now face each other all day. Our desks are mirror images and perhaps it’s because of this a horrible thought occurred to me. I realised our similarities. I typed out a rough list is as follows:-

• HOWARD is bullied by his wife. I’m bullied by HOWARD.

• We both defend ourselves from bullying by way of creativity and humour, HOWARD verbally employs his cruel wit and I use this blog.

• HOWARD’S office image is that he’s a great solicitor. This is counteracted by him being an office bully. A more modern company would sack him for gross misconduct.

• My office image is that I’m a conscientious secretary. This is counteracted by the fact that, due to this blog, I’ll definitely be sacked at some point for gross misconduct.

• HOWARD and I make ourselves feel better, if only temporarily, by damaging each other. The fact that he doesn’t know I’m doing it is a moot point.
I slumped behind my monitor, staring at the list and wondering where it will end. Feeling both depressed and guilty, I peeked at him over my screen. HOWARD was absorbed in costing a file, his pen gripped between his teeth as if smoking a pipe. He hadn’t been too bad all day.

Before going home I tried to chat with him. I thought perhaps I should try harder to get him to see how friendly I am. I asked him about hobbies, what he liked to do.

“For fuck’s sake,” he replied. HOWARD jumped up and stormed over to the PM’s desk in the middle of the room.

“I can’t listen to her,” he said, attracting everyone’s attention. “Can’t you have her back over here? She’s like the bloody teacher off “Charlie Brown…‘Whah wah wah wah ywah ywah’. That’s all I hear…’Whah ywah wah. Do you like this, HOWARD? Do you like that? Wah wah ywah.’ For fuck’s sake! Take her back?”

“No. You were the one who asked for her to be moved there!” the PM said, amidst the laughing.

I switched off my computer, grabbed my coat and, with as much dignity as I could manage, I wished my colleagues a nice evening. Passing HOWARD, I said goodnight. As I got to the doors he called my name.

“Eva!” HOWARD shouted. “Listening to you makes me want to kill myself!”

HOWARD’S words reflect exactly how he makes me feel at my lowest.

It troubles me to think our mirrored feelings, when they break, might bring a lot more complication than seven years of bad luck.

See you soon,

Eva x

2 comments:

Mr Bullyproof said...

Hi Eva,
You are obviously good at 'coping' with being bullied. Unfortunately it seems you have settled for that.

Fiona WordsBird said...

I'd like to know more about the bullying wife. There is useful stuff there, either for helping him or just for helping yourself.

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