Reading Days

The biggest problem people have when trying to prove they’ve been bullied is a lack of evidence. After the event, when asked to give examples of the incidents including times, dates and names of those involved, it's hard to recall specifics.

“But I left months ago...” they'll say. “I can’t precisely remember, but it was around October, or maybe it was November – but it was horrible. And it got worse!”

The best case scenario, with no evidence, is a lawyer will pull out a Compromise Agreement and the worst case scenario is they’ll say it’s a waste of time. Not a leg to stand on. The bully has sneakily covered their tracks. The victim looks like a liar.

My own bully, on the other hand, got complacent. Howard wasn’t concerned about covering his tracks. The more they let him get away with it, the more he believed he was invincible. He sent me scores of offensive e-mails for a start. And I collected the evidence.

Too much evidence apparently!

There is so much evidence my solicitor isn’t comfortable. He’s had to book a “reading day” at the Tribunal, which will cost me more money. There was a tone to his voice, as if he wished we could leave half of it at home.

“It’s just expensive all round,” he said.

It may be expensive and inconvenient for people to take time to review the evidence, but it is more costly and inconvenient to have no proof against Howard when he accuses me of being deranged.

Keep a workplace bullying diary; keep e-mails which prove what you are saying. Keep everything you can. If you are being bullied, you’ll need it all.


Eva x

Happy Anniversary

I’m off to celebrate in my own quiet way - enjoying the sunshine with a glass of wine or two this afternoon.

Exactly a year ago on the 23rd May 2009 Eva James/Bullied by the Boss was born. I knew exactly what I wanted. I just had no idea how to pull it off. I could type, but I had no idea how to start a blog. It took a while to set it all up. I certainly couldn’t have done it without the most helpful and generous IT guy and repeated loans of “Blogging for Dummies” from the library.

Like a year ago, my plan from this point on couldn’t be clearer. I know exactly what I want, but again, I have no idea how I’m going to pull it off. I’ll still need your help, you know. I need your company on a new journey - all the way to the Employment Tribunal.

So it’s about time for a birthday wish...and maybe a drink to courage.
Let’s hope it comes true.

Eva x

ET3 Horror

I’m haunted by Howard's ET3 Grounds of Resistance. I enjoy writing myself, but if you’re interested in sexually morbid fiction then Howard's your man.

The first time I read it, I couldn’t digest it because I kept shouting at the document, or bursting into tears and raging against the lies. Days later I tried reading it again. The same thing happened. The bits I hadn’t read the first time had me yelling, cursing and crying within seconds. I cried all night.

Desperate, I phoned my solicitor the following morning and asked if they were allowed to make it up completely. Are they allowed to lie from start to finish?

The answer is yes.

Why isn’t this made clear to people? Even as a legal secretary, I had no idea.

My solicitor ensures me that cases are won and lost on the evidence. He said he admired me for what I’m doing and really doesn’t want me to give up. He called me a “trooper.”

I told him that Howard had seriously underestimated my ability to find help and support outside work, when none was forthcoming within. I told him there were independent people I'd reached out to for help, who might back me up. If they do, then Howard won't have a leg to stand on.

I’ve put the ET3 away for now. I can’t even look at it, let alone get to the end, but from what I’ve read of his fiction so far...

The butler probably did it.

See you next week.

Eva x

The Attack

They attacked.

I was going to give loads of specific examples from Howard's Grounds of Resistance as they are such outrageous lies, but my dignity wouldn't allow it. I'll give you a few though. The allegations are so outrageous it’s almost funny.

Almost.

Most of his behaviour towards me, Howard claims, was to deter my sexual pestering. Without knowing I’ve done so, Howard mentions many incidents I’ve blogged about. He says I did them to myself in an attempt to get sexual attention. At one point he says he believes I quit because I didn't think he'd leave his wife! Other things, like the shredded letter from my ‘Resurrection’ blog, he claims never happened at all.

I'm so angry and upset. Even though it’s not like I didn’t see it coming. What a surprise! They are alleging that I’m desperately lonely and needy because I live on my own.

I feel like I’m in the middle of an extraordinary experiment into workplace bullying. It’s hard to explain, but the allegations on both sides now are so awful, I don’t know what will happen next. Howard and his colleague are, as yet, unaware of the mountain of evidence I’ve been collecting for almost a year – but they will find out soon enough.

So I guess the experiment is this:-

If I can’t prove that I was being bullied then no one can.

Wish me luck.

See you soon. Eva x