Eugh! Did anyone else read Guy Browning’s article in the Guardian? I missed
it in August, but someone just sent me the link.
I’ve given a brief description below, but I’ve put the link at the bottom
of my blog in case you don’t quite believe what you’re reading. This is the
second article of this kind I’ve read in the past few weeks. The theme of this
disturbing trend is that if you’re bullied at work, you’ve only got yourself to
blame.
Tip 1
from Guy Browning:
‘If you tour the workplace asking
if people hate you, you're very likely to encourage people to do exactly that
even if they only found you mildly irritating before...Office workers who worry
about workplace rejection generally don't have a grip on how to operate in the
workplace’.
I was subject to one of the worst cases of workplace
bullying – but I never once ran around asking if people hated me before it happened. I couldn’t
have cared less. After the bullying started, however, I did worry about
workplace rejection. And the worse the bullying got, the more I worried.
Guy, it seems, is a bit of an amateur when it comes to workplace
psychology. Anyone with an ounce of
emotional intelligence will realise that a significant lack of confidence and
self worth are the result of emotional abuse – not the reason it happens. Worrying
that our colleagues hate us is one effect
of bullying - not the cause.
Furthermore, is he really saying that had I followed the unwritten social
rules, my boss wouldn’t have put 2 packets of Paracetamol in his draw and
encouraged me to take them? Doesn’t it make more sense that there might have
been something terribly amiss with my boss? And if you’re being bullied at work
the chances are, there’s something wrong with yours.
Sadly, Guy’s insights into workplace bullying don’t stop there.
Tip 2
from Guy Browning:
‘The truth is that people don't
hate you until one of two things happens. Firstly, you show that you already
hate yourself and that others are welcome
to jump on the bandwagon. Or...you show very quickly how much you like other
people.’
I might send Guy Browning my book. It’s all I can think of to dissuade
him from using phoney psychology designed to make targets of bullying feel like
everything is their fault.
For years it’s been recognised that there’s a link between workplace
bullying and domestic violence. Just imagine the outcry if he told battered
spouses it was their fault. It wouldn't happen if they just obeyed the the rules of the
house. Twenty years ago, I’ll bet some guy just like Guy Browning wrote an
article along the lines of:
“If your husband/wife is terrorising you, then it’s because you’re self
loathing and needy”.
I’m so disappointed the Guardian published this. I’ll say it again and
I’ll keep saying it.
DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF. BLAME ONLY THE COMPANY YOU WORK FOR – AND DON’T
FORGET TO BLAME IGNORANT JOURNALISTS WHO DO MORE HARM THAN GOOD!
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/aug/02/office-nurturing-vipers-workplace-sabotage
Very best
BBTB
2 comments:
What a pile of tosh. In my early career, I have allowed the bully to walk over me. Later and at another establishment I have made it clear that I wouldn't stand for any grief. and yet it still happens. 95% of the problem starts with the bullies inability to cope with the pressure of their role. Keep your head down and they will think you are a soft target.
I should be grateful for having a Cancer scare. It is a sure fire way to learn how to step out of yourself. Once you do that you will see the patterns behind the causes of. Their bullying.
Hi Chris,
I'm so glad you posted this. Thank you!
When 'experts' write dangerously inaccuate theories about why bad things happen to others we need to tell them when they are wrong.
And, oh boy, is Guy wrong.
Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!
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