So then...

About Me

Welcome to my blog. My pen name is Eva James. I'm an aspiring writer paying the bills working as a legal secretary. Bullied by my boss in 2008, I looked for another job but the recession hit. Feeling trapped, I started this blog. Trevor Griffiths, legendary theatre, TV and film writer said at the outset, "I like the writing a lot: smart, cool, placed. If you were prepared/able to take your prick of a boss on, you'd marmelise him." I was unaware back then that it would catalogue one of the most extreme cases of workplace bullying in the UK. I've found another job, but am subject to a gagging order. I'm still blogging, of course. Just don't tell the lawyers!

Wednesday 21 October 2009

Back to School

Howard's been on about school this week. Maybe it’s the onset of Autumn. There’s a tell tale dry rustle in the stirring leaves, which are just beginning to fall. The breeze is cooler. Perhaps it’s because the traffic is worse now the children are back in school. Whatever it is, Howard's been thinking about my education.

“If you’d paid more attention in school you might have made more of yourself, Eva. You might be doing something like me.”

Howard had been a high-achieving maths brain-box in school: bright enough to be fast tracked through education. He’d developed a love of economics, but when a career’s advisor said that the law paid well, he’d switched. He was right about my academic record being a little different.

“I can just imagine your school reports,” he continued. “Eva is a sensitive child who keeps herself to herself. If only they knew how desperate for company you’d be as an adult. If they only knew you’d end up with fucking Attention Deficit Disorder because of a lack of human contact. If only they knew you’d end up rocking back and forth like a Romanian orphan.”

I resolved to handle it maturely; rise above it. I told him I wasn’t taking any notice.

“Toughening to the humiliation, eh? Doesn’t matter,” he said. “I still remember what you look like when you cry. It’s like watching Rolf Harris.”

He did an impression of me crying as if I were Rolf Harris, you know, doing that kind of hyperventilating breathing Rolf does when he paints. The clique of fee-earner ‘ladies that lunch,’ fell about laughing and asked what he was doing.

Howard continued his impression, shaking his shoulders for added effect and crying into his hands.

I laughed it off and acted as if I didn’t care. I told him he was unlikely to see me cry again.

I turned away from the fresh-out-of-law-school solicitors giggling at Howard's put downs and got back to work. He continued on with his 'Rolf Harris'. He reminded me of a schoolboy, clowning in the middle of the office in his white Asda shirt, black trousers and lace-up shoes.

“Next time I make you cry,” he promised, “I’m going to film it and put it on YouTube.”

No, I didn’t do so well academically. I hated school. I couldn’t wait to leave. And not a day goes by without Howard reminding me why.  

See you next week,

Eva x

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Does nt matter what you do when you are an evolved mature person..LIKE you!
Bullies have the emotional intelligence of a "5" year old i believe I ve read..That would be insulting to some 5 year olds I ve met. From 3 I have to judge "Do they know right from wrong" some kids DO by 3...so what was his excuse...
Yes "sensitive" as a well known insult from someone who does NOT have any sensitivity,, I recognise the pattern and I ve heard it used as aas excuse...The child that was left to sleep at her friends party with no matress or cover..well silly sensitive girl eh?
I feel quite sickened by the bystander mentality...

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