Who's Who

I should have done this first, but hey-ho. Before we go any further, here’s an essential introduction to a few key players in my office environment.

Howard is my boss. He’s a young-ish solicitor with a spiteful sense of humour and a catalogue of morbid obsessions. The only thing Howard encourages is my suicide. As he tested the banisters to see if they would hold my weight, I phoned around the temp agencies but was told, “There’s a recession on – keep your head down.” Keep my head down? Keeping my chin up is the hard part.

I could speak up but our firm is headed by Philip, a taciturn Glaswegian Company Director with an impossible temper. He has an incomprehensible accent and a penchant for kicking his cabinets. Complaints about the operation of his company get you fired.

By the CVs coming in - they know we haven’t a choice - we can be replaced by forty others. But if I have to sit in this hot seat five days a week then I want you with me. Perhaps you’ll be objective.

Maybe I’m being oversensitive. Maybe it is all right that when Howard last made me a cup of tea, he put the teabag down his trousers first.

See you soon

Eva x