This week I’ve been reading Payback: Why we Retaliate, Redirect Aggression and Take Revenge, as recommended by a friend on Twitter. It’s so in keeping with my BBTB philosophy, I’ve decided to share it with you.
It didn’t take me long to realise that HOWARD’S problem wasn’t actually me. We’re not targeted because of some annoying aspect of our character or personality. We’re targeted because someone in a higher post is in pain and needs to make someone pay for that. And they’re always going to choose the person HR would (albeit reluctantly) let go if it was a 50/50 decision between you and them.
HOWARD had significant problems outside work which caused him pain, and his way of coping was by passing it on. I soon realised I had to put my pain somewhere or I’d take it out on my family and friends.
Pain is Vampiric. Once bitten, we have an almost compulsive need to bite back and if we can’t – we may well experience an urge to bite someone else, someone completely innocent. Unfortunately, whilst it’s not right and possibly dangerous even, it does make us feel better – short term.
So we have two problems. The first is, obviously, what we are going to do about being bullied at work. The second is how we are going to avoid biting and snapping at someone else. I tried everything and anything to successfully control my anger and frustration. The last thing you want to do is become the epitome of what you hate in the first place.
If we have to bite through something, let it be the chain of bullying.
- Bullied By The Boss
- Welcome to my blog. My pen name is Eva James. I'm an aspiring writer paying the bills working as a legal secretary. Relentlessly bullied by my former boss, I looked for another job but the recession hit. Feeling trapped, I recorded everything in this blog, which serves as a revealing insight into workplace bullying. WEEK 1 starts the story and, as the weeks progress, you'll note what starts as banter soon spirals out of control. Sadly, it's all true. Whilst along the way I've found alternative employment, my passion for blogging about workplace bullying remains. Trevor Griffiths, legendary theatre, TV and film writer said at the outset, "I like the writing a lot: smart, cool, placed. If you were prepared/able to take your prick of a boss on, you'd marmelise him."