So then...

About Me

Welcome to my blog. My pen name is Eva James. I'm an aspiring writer paying the bills working as a legal secretary. Bullied by my boss in 2008, I looked for another job but the recession hit. Feeling trapped, I started this blog. Trevor Griffiths, legendary theatre, TV and film writer said at the outset, "I like the writing a lot: smart, cool, placed. If you were prepared/able to take your prick of a boss on, you'd marmelise him." I was unaware back then that it would catalogue one of the most extreme cases of workplace bullying in the UK. I've found another job, but am subject to a gagging order. I'm still blogging, of course. Just don't tell the lawyers!

Wednesday 23 June 2010

Money Talks

They’re sending the money tomorrow.

It’s so quick my head’s spinning. My solicitor will hold it for me for a couple of weeks, but Howard and his pals are desperate to pay me off. They can’t get the money to me fast enough.

I can’t make sense of it. I never wanted money. I just wanted Howard to sort himself out and stop humiliating me. Why would they rather send over a wad of cash than apologise?

Truth is, I don’t know what to do with the settlement. What’s eating me up isn’t just the fact that I still wish I’d found a way to Tribunal, I’m also really scared. This is my big chance to change my life and I don’t know where to start. It’s a pressure I never saw coming. I have to make a decision about the direction for a new start.

The money is nagging me to make a decision. It won’t shut up.

What I really want it to say is 'sorry'.

See you soon

Eva x

4 comments:

Fiona WordsBird said...

The very best advice comes from your own gut ... so, stash the cash in the bank and leave it there to fester.

Don't worry, it won't go off.

And while it ripens, like a good cheese, you can sleep on the decision many times. Eventually it'll become obvious what you are going to do next.

The big decisions are not usually the hardest - once you take the panic and stress out of your thinking.

Trust me ... and trust your own gut. You already know what to do. And sooner than you think, you'll find out.

Bullied By The Boss said...

Thanks Fiona,

You're right. I'm putting huge pressure on myself to make a quick decision.

If I stop panicking I'll hear myself think better.

I'm going to do exactly as you said. Put it in the bank until I know exactly what I want to do with it. x

Mr Fan said...

Great title, "Money Talks" a business trades for the bottom line, "Money" unfortunetly some peoples styles are to be down the line and just look at profits rather than treating people in a democratic way.

Way up all of your pros & cons and choose the one which tick most of the boxes. x

Anonymous said...

I'd definitely use some of it to go on a holiday. It sounds like you really deserve to have a couple of weeks away from the grind. But do something unusual and challenging while you're away and it will inspire your decision as to what to do with the rest of it.

Bottom Swirl